Speed Reading

I woke up this morning expecting to call in sick, but felt a little better and proceeded to get ready for work. But my throat was a little scratchy and I was slightly stuffed up, so I engaged in a little fantasy. What could I do with my day instead of work?

I didn’t have time for a long tarot reading, so I asked three quick questions and pulled one card for each.

Option 1. Go to work: Nine of Coins

The Nine of Coins shows a woman in a secure, walled garden surrounded by wealth. That’s me at the bank: literally surrounded by money, but also contained, safe, and earning the paycheck that’s slowly rebuilding my sense of financial stability.

There were the familiar roles, coworkers to interact with, and the challenge of learning a job that relies on my weakest traits.

The Nine of Coins can also indicate isolation. Going in today did mean continuing to push aside the personal matters that I really do need to reflect on, pretending everything is fine while growing just a touch more cynical.

Option 2. Reflect on my social life and do some tarot readings about it: Knight of Cups

I usually see this figure as a someone wandering aimlessly and holding a cup of daydreams, but he’s a knight and he might be holding a divination cup (like Josef's). He can indicate someone actively seeking emotional clarity, meaning, and connection.

This made him a perfect card for a day of reflecting on synagogue, friendship, relationships, and the trajectory of my life in the States... or back home. It could have been a good time to explore hope and direction.

But the Knight of Cups can chase ideals instead of grounding them. I might have spent the whole day wandering through feelings... or, more realistically, gotten pulled into binge watching the show I’m currently obsessed with.

Option 3. Work on my large white book: Queen of Wands

The Queen of Wands is a woman of focused fire, and she shows exactly what would have happened if I had spent the day on my LWB! I would have gotten a good amount of work done. Even one fully fleshed out section would feel amazing, The accomplishment would strengthen my confidence, my voice, and my sense of identity.

The downside was obvious: no payc for the day, and no attention to the personal issues I've kept postponing. And if I had started to feel sick later in the day, I would have been unlikely to rest; I would have just pushed through, riding the Queen of Wands’ momentum instead of going to bed.

(Realistic ETA for completing the book: 78 cards × one week for a draft × one week for revisions = about three and a half years.)

I chosen option one because momentum was already pulling me in that direction. And it was a good thing, too! Three other people were out-- two of them unexpectedly. I'm tired, but not worn out or feeling under the weather.

The Deck I’ve Been Waiting For All My Life!

Today, I’m expecting to receive a deck that I'm incredibly excited about: Stav Appel’s Torah in Tarot, a polished reproduction of the Jean Noblet Tarot, a medieval French tarot deck originally published in Paris around 1650.

In his book, Appel argues convincingly that this deck was a deliberate attempt to preserve and disguise Jewish tradition: Hebrew letters, biblical stories, and religious practices woven into the structure of existing Italian playing cards. At the time, the Church was actively trying to erase Jewish heritage among recently converted Christians. Some French crypto-Jews may have pretended to play trifoni as a cover for learning.

That may sound far-fetched. One YouTube reviewer did a casual flip-through and dismissed the idea as fantasy. But as someone familiar with tarot imagery, I know the difference between projecting ideas into card images and recognizing what’s already there. And once you see it, it’s hard to unsee!

I used to turn up my nose at Marseille style decks. I found the art crude and unappealing. That was until Appel pointed out that the odd wheels in The Chariot are actually Torah scroll handles and that the tools on The Magician’s table are elements of a medieval mohel's kit. Even the name “tarot,” whose etymology has long puzzled scholars, may be a pun on “Torah.”

Before you roll your eyes at another unscholarly theory about tarot’s origins, take a moment to look at the cards online. The Fool is clearly shaped like the Hebrew letter tav. The ayin is right there for all to see in La Maison Dieu (The Tower), as are the tablets of the Ten Commandments. The marks on The Magician’s dice point to the eighth day when circumcision is performed. The rays of sunlight and the darker bricks in La Maison Dieu point to the date, Tisha b’Av. And most striking of all-- how could I have missed it-- the mikveh right there on The Judgment card! There are too many coincidences to dismiss as mere coincidence.

During the Inquisition, Jews who converted under duress were watched carefully to ensure they were not practicing Judaism. Hebrew texts and rituals were banned under threat of torture and execution. And yet, Jews tried to remember our heritage. 700 years later, some families wonder why, on Friday nights, they turn the picture of Jesus to the wall before lighting two candles. Many strange customs whose roots point back to hidden Jewish identities have been documented.

The idea that crypto-Jews in France may have used tarot to preserve and transmit tradition isn’t wild speculation. It fits into a broader pattern of cultural camouflage, such as secret mezuzot carved into door frames and dreidls spun in gambling games as a cover for group learning.

Why has no one else noticed the Torah in tarot before Stav Appel? Probably because the history of tarot is surfeit with exotic theories of its origins in ancient Egypt or in Kabbalah, making it sensible to dismiss tarot altogether. Even I used to roll my eyes at the notion that tarot is Kabbalah. I didn't believe that Judaism is in the tarot, but was trying to put it there. (Keep an eye out: my deck and book will be coming out soon.)

Thanks to Torah in Tarot, I now know how medieval French Jews attempted to preserve our culture in the cards and I have a guidebook to help me recognize the symbols and stories they chose to preserve. It adds depth to my already existing obsession with tarot.

Once the package lands on my doorstep later today, I’ll dive in. For now, I just wanted to share the anticipation.