On the first day of Rosh HaShanah, it is tradition to read about Hagar and Yishmael, while the second day is dedicated to the story of Avraham and Yitzhak. Each of these narratives revolves around the near-death experiences of a child under the care of a parent.
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| Jean-Charles Cazin |
Today, I found myself wondering how Hagar raised her son and what lessons Avraham imparted to him. What kind of parents were they, and how did their parenting shape the lives of each of their sons?
The written Torah says little of Hagar's origins or ends, but the oral tradition has a great more to say. According to one midrash, she was the daughter of Pharaoh. Impressed by the miracles that God performed for Sarah (originally Sarai), Hagar chose to become a servant in Sarai's household, stating, "It is better for me to be a slave in Sarah's house than a mistress in my own."
Sarah, who had been childless for many years, eventually gave up on becoming a mother herself. She adhered to the custom of her era and region. She sent Hagar to Avraham so that Hagar could bear a child on Sarah's behalf.
When Hagar realized she was pregnant, "her mistress was despised in her eyes." She began to look down on Sarah. Ignoring the long partnership of Sarah and Avraham, Hagar boasted that her position in the household had become higher than Sarah's because she had conceived in one night while Sarah had not conceived in many years. This triggered a reaction from Sarah, who complained to Avraham. After consulting with God, Avraham told Sarah to to deal with Hagar as she saw fit.
Sarah chose to "afflict" or "deal harshly with" Hagar;the Torah uses the same Hebrew word (תענה/מעונה) that it would later use to describe the treatment of Israelite slaves in Egypt, generations later. This harsh treatment prompted Hagar to flee to the desert, where she encountered a messenger of God who advised her to return to Sarah, which she did.
בְּרֵאשִׁית - לֶךְ-לְךָ
16:7 And the angel of the LORD found her by a fountain of water in the wilderness, by the fountain in the way to Shur.
16:8 And he said: 'Hagar, Sarai's handmaid, whence camest thou? and whither goest thou?' And she said: 'I flee from the face of my mistress Sarai.'
16:9 And the angel of the LORD said unto her: 'Return to thy mistress, and submit thyself under her hands.'
16:10 And the angel of the LORD said unto her: 'I will greatly multiply thy seed, that it shall not be numbered for multitude.
16:11 And the angel of the LORD said unto her: 'Behold, thou art with child, and shalt bear a son; and thou shalt call his name Ishmael, because the LORD hath heard thy affliction.
16:12 And he shall be a wild ass of a man: his hand shall be against every man, and every man's hand against him; and he shall dwell in the face of all his brethren.'
16:13 And she called the name of the LORD that spoke unto her, Thou art a God of seeing; for she said: 'Have I even here seen Him that seeth Me?'
16:14 Wherefore the well was called 'Beer-lahai-roi; behold, it is between Kadesh and Bered.
The figure of the lone seeker in the desert is a powerful archetype. Even more powerful is the moment when Hagar named God "El Roi," meaning "The God Who Sees." To my knowledge, Hagar is the only individual in the Tanakh who names God.
Hagar eventually gave birth to a son, whom Avraham named Yishmael. Afterward, Yishmael disappears from the narrative until God made another covenant with Avraham and commanded that "every male among you shall be circumcised." Not long after this event, Sarah gave birth to Yitzhak.
The pivotal moment in the story occurred after Yitzhak's weaning, when Yishmael engaged in an action that angered Sarah. The action is described as "m'tzahek," a word that relates to "play" and is also a homophone for Yitzhak's name, which means "laughter." The same word was used to describe something that Yitzhak and Rivka did that revealed that they were a married couple. This ambiguity has led some Rabbis to speculate whether Yishmael's action was sexual in nature.
In response to Sarah's displeasure, Avraham heeded her request to send Hagar and her son away into the wilderness. In the desert again, this time not of her own choosing, Hagar was lost and out of water. Her son was dying.
בְּרֵאשִׁית - וַיֵּרָא
21:14 And Abraham arose up early in the morning, and took bread and a bottle of water, and gave it unto Hagar, putting it on her shoulder, and the child, and sent her away; and she departed, and strayed in the wilderness of Beer-sheba.
21:15 And the water in the bottle was spent, and she cast the child under one of the shrubs.
21:16 And she went, and sat her down over against him a good way off, as it were a bow-shot; for she said: 'Let me not look upon the death of the child.' And she sat over against him, and lifted up her voice, and wept.
21:17 And God heard the voice of the lad; and the angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven, and said unto her: 'What aileth thee, Hagar? fear not; for God hath heard the voice of the lad where he is.
21:18 Arise, lift up the lad, and hold him fast by thy hand; for I will make him a great nation.'
21:19 And God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water; and she went, and filled the bottle with water, and gave the lad drink.
21:20 And God was with the lad, and he grew; and he dwelt in the wilderness, and became an archer.
21:21 And he dwelt in the wilderness of Paran; and his mother took him a wife out of the land of Egypt.
The moment when Hagar abandoned her dying child under a shrub and distanced herself from him is as disturbing as Avraham's intention to sacrifice his son, Yitzhak. However, it is then that a messenger of God calls to Hagar from heaven, responding to the child's cries. Hagar's inability to see the well until God opens her eyes is puzzling.
There are many things to wonder about in these seven verses.
1. Before the Akedah, God and Abraham spoke with each other often, but afterward, God never spoke to Avraham again. An angel, not god, spoke to Avraham during the Akedah. Rabbi Jill Hammer points out that the angel described Yitzhak differently than God had described him before the Akedah; the angel said, "thy son, thine only son," omitting the additional phrase God had used, "thy son... thine only son... whom thou lovest." This raises questions about Avraham's feelings toward his son. God's actions on Hagar's behalf after she abandoned her infant to cry alone under a bush contrast with His silence toward Avraham. God apparently approved of Hagar's behavior during her trial, but not Avraham behavior during his.
2. God promised to make Hagar's son a great nation, just as he had promised to make Sarah's son a great nation.
3. Earlier God had seen Hagar, this time God helped Hagar see. According to another midrash, Hagar had seen the well the first time she was in the desert and had named it Be'er Lachai Roi, the "Wellspring of the Living One Who Sees Me." Hagar's ability to name both God and a place, suggests something-- I'm not sure what. Empowerment? Self awareness? A unique relationship with God?
The Tanakh shifts its focus from the parents to the children as the story progresses. However, we know a little more. Hagar reappeared when, according to oral tradition, after the death of his mother, Yitzhak traveled to Be'er Lachai Roi to bring Hagar back to Avraham. In the written Torah, she is thereafter known as Keturah, "tie," because she remained faithful to Avraham even after he sent her away.
When hearing this story, we can't help but anticipate the Akedah, in which Avraham nearly sacrifices the child Sarah gave birth to. These two stories, read on Rosh HaShanah, delve into the complex relationships between parents and children. The question remains: Why do we read these narratives on Rosh HaShanah, the "birthday" of the world?
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