Shabbos in Jerusalem

Today was my 100th day in Israel and I finally had an invitation to Shabbos dinner in someone's home.

Before sunset, I walked to the Old City and then through magical seeming alleys, past ornate doors and an unexpected orange tree heavy with fruit. Their home is from the Crusader Period and, when Chaya had shown me how to get there earlier in the week, she described how she had remodeled it. She is quite brilliant.

Chaya and Roni were warm and welcoming. Chaya and I lit candles and chatted while Roni and their son went to shul to daven. It was so pleasant to spend time with her, discuss Jewish things, admire her art, and explore their library. A friend of theirs stopped by with two identical books for them to study. I found it ironic that a man who davens in a shul with a mehitza was promoting a book describing why women are more spiritual than men.

A brother and sister, a Chabad rabbi, and another very young man joined us for dinner. Four different men chanted kiddush; I was pleased to be included in Roni's, almost as if I were family. Chaya had prepared an enormous amount of food and Roni had purchased many salads to be served before the main course. Everything was delicious and Torah was spoken at the table. I had just read a biography of Maimonides, so I was able to contribute a tiny bit to the discussion of the Karaites.

Roni and Chaya are both gracious hosts and the evening was absolutely traditional, right down to determining which men would be chanting kiddush for which women and children. I didn't notice when their son slipped away quietly after he was done eating; it's good that he wasn't forced stay with the adults. The other woman at the table had just arrived in Israel and was interested in organic cooking and gardening. We didn't speak to each other much during the meal because her brother and the Chabad rabbi had a lot to say, and later she curled up on a bean bag chair and went to sleep.

Near the end of the evening, I wanted to say something about Hebrew and how it seems that words of Torah we learn have more impact and stay with us better than much of what we learn in ulpan. Each man interrupted. No important discussion had been lost, but I was reminded of how much more respectfully men treat women in Reform settings. (Once, when I was very young, I was listening to a history professor and a WW2 veteran talking at a meal during a temple retreat and I joined in the conversation. Horrified at my audacity, I was amazed that they listened respectfully and responded to what I said even though each knew far more about the topic that I did.)

There was dessert and benching and more graciousness from Chaya and Roni. It was a wonderful evening. Roni wanted to make sure I found my way back, but the very young man was clearly reluctant to walk to Jaffa Gate with me, so I assured Roni that I knew my way.

I'm reading the parasha again, but I'm sure I'll fall asleep soon and sleep soundly.