Speed Reading

I woke up this morning expecting to call in sick, but felt a little better and proceeded to get ready for work. But my throat was a little scratchy and I was slightly stuffed up, so I engaged in a little fantasy. What could I do with my day instead of work?

I didn’t have time for a long tarot reading, so I asked three quick questions and pulled one card for each.

Option 1. Go to work: Nine of Coins

The Nine of Coins shows a woman in a secure, walled garden surrounded by wealth. That’s me at the bank: literally surrounded by money, but also contained, safe, and earning the paycheck that’s slowly rebuilding my sense of financial stability.

There were the familiar roles, coworkers to interact with, and the challenge of learning a job that relies on my weakest traits.

The Nine of Coins can also indicate isolation. Going in today did mean continuing to push aside the personal matters that I really do need to reflect on, pretending everything is fine while growing just a touch more cynical.

Option 2. Reflect on my social life and do some tarot readings about it: Knight of Cups

I usually see this figure as a someone wandering aimlessly and holding a cup of daydreams, but he’s a knight and he might be holding a divination cup (like Josef's). He can indicate someone actively seeking emotional clarity, meaning, and connection.

This made him a perfect card for a day of reflecting on synagogue, friendship, relationships, and the trajectory of my life in the States... or back home. It could have been a good time to explore hope and direction.

But the Knight of Cups can chase ideals instead of grounding them. I might have spent the whole day wandering through feelings... or, more realistically, gotten pulled into binge watching the show I’m currently obsessed with.

Option 3. Work on my large white book: Queen of Wands

The Queen of Wands is a woman of focused fire, and she shows exactly what would have happened if I had spent the day on my LWB! I would have gotten a good amount of work done. Even one fully fleshed out section would feel amazing, The accomplishment would strengthen my confidence, my voice, and my sense of identity.

The downside was obvious: no payc for the day, and no attention to the personal issues I've kept postponing. And if I had started to feel sick later in the day, I would have been unlikely to rest; I would have just pushed through, riding the Queen of Wands’ momentum instead of going to bed.

(Realistic ETA for completing the book: 78 cards × one week for a draft × one week for revisions = about three and a half years.)

I chosen option one because momentum was already pulling me in that direction. And it was a good thing, too! Three other people were out-- two of them unexpectedly. I'm tired, but not worn out or feeling under the weather.