Who is an Indian? Who is a Jew?

Wacipi - Powwow

At the beginning of this video, an interviewer asks a man why he and his family go to powwows all summer. "Because they're powwows. I don't see how you guys can live without ever going to powwows."

Yes!

Although I am one of "you guys," I'm certain that I understand what he meant. I look forward to the local powwow all year and spend every minute I can there. (Once, when I got a new job, I immediately scheduled several days off the following autumn... for the High Holy Days and for the Powwow.)

I can't describe how it makes me feel to attend the powwow and have often thought it must feel a hundred times better to the people whose culture it is. The drums, the singing, the families… 

There is a woman I know, part Native American, who never attends the local powwow. On one hand, I can't understand how she could miss it! On the other hand, I suspect (but don't know for certain) that I understand all too well. She once told me that to white people, she is Indian, but to Indians she is white. 

Among Jews, the issue of who is a Jew has often hurt me just as deeply as she seems to have been hurt. Being Jewish is central to my identity-- and for that reason I shy away from situations in the States where I might be rejected. 

It seems to me, that local Indians at this powwow would have no problem with her mixed ancestry (a good number of them are blonde), but I understand that her wound might be too deep for her to risk herself. It makes me sad for both of us.

The High Holy Days always occur within a few days or weeks of the powwow. I attend services with my heart carefully shielded. It opens with each blast of the shofar and then slams shut. 

But the drumming and singing at the powwow free me. My heart swells when veterans in fatigues lead the grand entry and the Eagle Staff precedes the American flag. I watch people who know who they are, who have self-respect. And for some reason, I begin to know who I am.

…but only the shofar makes me cry. 

(Oh, hell. Just to lighten the mood, see this.)