What is my soul telling me?

I read the cards from right to left. 

Consider what shaped you.

Observe those who were raised differently.

Plant a seed and grow into a new person.

When I was nearly 40, my mother spoke words she hadn't uttered for decades. She threatened to kill me. A wave of nausea washed through my whole body and then a number of different thoughts flashed through my mind. Memories of my childhood fear of her resurfaced, yet I couldn't ignore the absurdity of her threat now that she was aged and diminished.

When I was growing up, my parents were really the only people in my life as we relocated incessantly. Whenever I forged connections with other children, my father's voice would erupt in a blend of anger and teary distress, admonishing, "They aren't your friends!"

Decades have passed and I've labored to ignored what Dad tried to teach me, that he was right. Slowly, it dawned on me that he was right. Even if I had the energy to sow another seed of hope, I don't want to risk deceiving myself again.

 

* Cards from the Aquarian Tarot.