Exploring a Tarot Card - the Eight of Earth

This week's card is the Eight of Earth from The Robin Wood Tarot. The traditional associations of this card are the daily grind and production (as opposed to artistic creation).

The image moves me to ask whether a person’s daily work nurtures and inspires her and whether it expresses her love for others. Will this work help her achieve her goals or is it simply the daily grind? The young worker in the card is idealistic and trusting. He keeps the window open so he can see his “castle of dreams.”

What do you think of when you look at the image? Consider what answers you would give to the questions: who, what, when, where, why, and how.

Who: someone who has learned the basics of his craft and is working to improve his skills.
What: focusing on the work before him forgetting his goal.
When: when he is hopeful that vision can become reality.
Where: in a quiet, well lighted place that facilitates concentration.
Why: because he is engaged, inspired, and hopeful.
How: with all his attention.

How did you answer those questions? What additional ideas did they yield? What do you think this card means?

Here are other ways to explore a card:

• note what emotions the image evokes in you
• describe the card out loud to uncover its meaning
• if an image reminds you of something, explore that further
• trust your first impressions and any ideas that just pop into your head
• if one of the details of the image jumps out at you, take note of it

If you see a potential difficulty in a particular image or if you are simply having trouble interpreting the image, try looking at the corresponding image from a different deck.

This card is the Eight of Earth from the Gaian Tarot.

What advice does this image offer? What are your first impressions? How is is different from the other image? Answer the questions: who, what, when, where, why, and how. Is there a message that both cards share?

"Symbology"

Thank you, Agent Smecker!   

[Additional link to same scene]

Composting

HaMelech Parpar supervising the work

Last week, I bought a twenty-gallon Roughneck Refuse Can by Rubbermaid. After tax, it cost $16.29. Holly Winkeljohn suggested a larger bin, but I don't generate huge amounts of vegetable waste, and I wanted to purchase the cheapest one in the store. (The lid snaps on and I hope it is secure enough to remain attached when I roll the bin.)

I had fun that night, noisily drilling holes in it. I felt almost handy and self-reliant. (I was glad I had my father's electric drill; using a nail and hammer might have been possible but would not have created large enough holes. You'd have to lay the bin on soft soil and hammer the nails from the inside out.) I used a metal file to remove the spirals of plastic that were sticking out from the edges of each hole that might have restricted airflow. 

My first contributions to my compost bin were pieces of seed potatoes left over from planting I did a few days ago. I also added a little bit of old potting soil, some dry clippings from the yard, and a few green leaves. (Since nothing will grow under a pine tree, I didn't add pine leaves, but I read later that it's fine to include them.)

Dad's electric drill

This morning, I offered it some wet coffee grounds. Yes, offered. Contributing to a compost bin is nearly a religious experience. It’s amazing that garbage can become beautiful, rich, clean soil. 

Years ago, a neighbor of mine had a huge compost pile and I loved taking my cooking scraps to her yard—contribution instead of waste. (Why do stores sell bundles of cilantro when all we ever need is a couple of springs? I always put the bundle of greens in a small glass of water to enjoy their fragrance, but it only keeps for a day or so.)

Holly Winkeljohn's article tells us to equally mix browns and greens to ensure the rapid breakdown of . If the greens and browns aren't balanced, the bin will put off a strong odor.

The result

• Greens are items rich in nitrogen: freshly cut grass, pruned plants, tea bags and tea leaves, peelings, used coffee grounds, horse and cow manure, and vegetables. 
• Browns are items rich in carbon: dried twigs, fall leaves, paper, pinecones and pine needles, shredded newspaper, straw, and wood chips.
• Avoid meat and dairy products, diseased plants, grease, oil, and pet poop.
• You can add eggshells to your compost bin as long as you rinse them thoroughly. They are a source of calcium.
• Citrus fruits may keep scavengers away. Cut the peels into small pieces because otherwise they take a very long time to break down.
• Compost This is a great site with tiled pictures of items you might want to compost and the word "yes," "no," or "maybe" on each one. You can click on the picture if you want to learn more.

My yard has no shade in the summer and we're expecting particularly hot weather, so I’ll have to add water each morning when I take water out for the baby quails. I'm very excited about my compost bin and can't wait to watch the magic.

If you have any composting tips or suggestions, I’d love to hear from you!

Update: Now that the bin in nearly full, I have trouble rolling it or even using a shovel to stir the contents. Consider investing in the real thing.

"We Had Everything But Money" or "Wasn't the Great Depression Fabulous?"

It's intriguing that people who grew up during the Great Depression have so many fond memories of that time. Maybe it's only because their parents sheltered them from knowing just how hard things were. Or maybe they had the right attitude: pay attention to what you do have.

Things are tight now, too, and many people are out of work. Even if you are doing well, it's wise to put as much as possible aside for retirement. Remember, if you're under fifty, you will never see a Social Security check.

There are a few websites that offer advice about the satisfaction of "simple living," but that seems to be a rich person's hobby.

I'm not extravagant. I haven't had cable television or a land line for years and I've always been a fan of the public library, but I'd like to cut down even more. These are a few things I'm doing to be more frugal.

How to save money on utility bills:

1. Turn your hot water heater down below "warm." You'll have to turn it up a couple hours before you shower, but you'll save an amazing amount on both your water and natural gas bills.
2. Tolerate a slightly colder house. 
3. If you're struggling, showers are available at public sports facilities. (Make sure they are SAFE!) 
4. Many utility companies have discounted rates for people with low incomes. Some discounts are only nominal, others are quite helpful. 

How to save money on food and prevent waste:

1. Make soup. (This deserves its very own post.)
2. When you purchase fresh produce, shop at more expensive grocery stores. You'll get fresher produce that lasts much longer. (I was stunned to discover that produce does not have to go bad within twenty-four of arriving in my refrigerator. Bye-bye Walmart. Hello weird-organic-place. Just don't expect me to buy your nine dollar, save-the-planet, chocolate bar.)
3. Walk to the grocery store. If it takes two hours to get to the store and back, think of it as great exercise. Do you have something better to do with that time?
4. Go to your local food bank. (Food banks are the best advertisement for private charity over public charity: no fingerprinting, no requests for documents you've already submitted, and no public servant whining, "It's just not clear what you mean when your write that you've been living on your savings.")
5. If you're really struggling, most Salvation Army posts serve one meal a day. 

If you live in a region where you can garden, why not get outside and play in the dirt? If you live in an area with a very short growing season, then definitely enjoy the brief good weather by going outside to garden. Obviously, avoid investing in expensive equipment.

1. Old flower pots may be small, but if you have them, use them. 
2. Raised beds will require a few pieces of wood (or cinder blocks). In some areas you will need  old carpeting (placed face down) to protect the bed from burrowing rodents and either chicken wire (as protection from birds and other animals) or plastic covers (as protection from the cold). If you live somewhere very hot, research what plants thrive in heat and think about cheap ways to create adequate shade for them. 
3. Make a cheap compost bin. If you already have an electric drill, all you need to purchase is a dark garbage bin with a locking lid.

Cell phones and internet may be necessary expenses today; you decide. I relied on the public library for internet access for a year, but then purchased an internet service for my home. Thankfully, the $32 a month service I chose is far more reliable than the $99 service offered by the area's more popular provider. (It was originally a $37 per month "special offer." After six months, the provider notified me that the rate was going up and I called to cancel. The representative offered me a "bundled plan" that included a cell phone. I insisted she just cancel my current internet service. She renewed my plan-- at five dollars less than I had been paying.)

I've never researched the cost of land lines! If they are cheaper, I'll have to consider how important it is for people to reach me any time of the day.

Since I don't purchase a newspaper, the only coupons I see are the ones that arrive in my mailbox; they are for things I didn't know I needed. So I throw them out without looking at them-- I might be missing out on savings, but I'm probably just missing out on temptation.

I do compare store prices. When I told my pharmacist that a prescription was cheaper at another store,  he called to confirm and now I pay that store's price without having to go out of my way. After another prescription increased in cost, I asked the pharmacist why; he didn't know but he very kindly tracked down a discount and now I pay less than a quarter of what I had originally been paying. (Don't get your hopes up; there are no discounts for prescriptions that cost more than twelve dollars a day.)

Do fun things that don't cost money:

• Ask yourself, "What did I do when I was a kid?" If you're old enough to remember playing outdoors with just the things you found in the woods or at a construction site, try wandering around outside to see what interests you now. If you were playing video games when you were a kid, go outside and find out what you were missing.
• Enjoy your free time. If you always have the cleanest house in the neighborhood, start being a little irresponsible. Broaden your horizons even if that only means sitting on the front porch admiring your yard or listening to kids laughing in the park across the street.
• Volunteer. You probably won't meet someone who knows about a job (most volunteers are retirees), but you will meet nice people and you will remember that you can make a  difference—that’s a double morale boost. Just google "volunteer opportunities" and the name of your town. 
• If your friends will only meet you at a bar, restaurant, or movie theater, offer to pack a picnic for a lunch in the park or suggest a long walk "because it's great exercise."
• Some towns have free concerts during the summer. I've seen several excellent cover bands. How many people have learned to line dance while listening to the Rolling Stones?
• Own a digital camera? Take lots of pictures that you never have to print.

Being frugal goes against my grain and perhaps the grain of many people who grew up in the United States after World War II. If it's feasible for you, when you begin to pare down your expenses, keep an eye out for one unnecessary item or activity that you don't want  to give up. Then really savor and enjoy it!

For me, it's carbonated water: all the bubbly goodness of beer with none of the calories!

Contemplative Tarot - Queen of Swords, Two of Wands, Ace of Pentacles

Do you see what a better world would look like?
   Walk with integrity and speak with candor and kindness.

Do you see where your skills are needed?
   Unveil what Life desires from your soul, for it is already written within.

Do you see a new path and the seeds of new life sprouting and unfolding?
   May your steps dance in harmony with the ever-unfolding flow of Life.

 

Lack of sleep has muffled my intuition. What ideas do these cards inspire in you? (This week's cards are from the Robin Wood Tarot.)

I love hearing back from my readers so please
leave a comment. I read each and every one!

0 - the Seeker

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly.

What is essential is invisible to the eye."

– the Fox in Antoine de Saint-Exupery’s The Little Prince

Gaian Tarot

A young woman stands on a hill overlooking a river valley. She hasn’t stepped into the scene yet, but a fox seems to be encouraging her to cross over the root of a gnarled tree and into a new future. Four birds fly around her in Disneyesque fashion and two yellow butterflies seem to beckon, too.

The valley below seems lush and pristine for now, but a trail is visible near a ford in the river. At the other end of the valley, dark hills rise, gradually becoming a snow peaked mountain.

The young woman holds two poles. One is firmly on the ground; the other pole is balanced on her left shoulder and from it, hangs a bright blue bag decorated with feathers. She seems to be contemplating a journey, but her clothing is lightweight and we can’t see whether her feet are well shod. A yellow butterfly is embroidered on her blue vest and she has stuck a feather in her braided hair. Is she going to put her right foot forward? And what direction will it take her? I worry for her, but she doesn’t seem as reckless as The Fool in the Rider-Waite-Smith deck.

The feather in her hair reminds me of the song Yankee Doodle Dandy, “He stuck a feather in his cap and called it macaroni.” British soldiers composed the lyrics to mock colonial fighters in the French and Indian War. Doodle meant fool and macaroni meant the height of fashion. Colonials embraced the song and, years later, sang it to defeated British troops. The Seeker has embraced who she is and doesn't let the opinions or mockery of others determine her self-perception or her actions. She hasn't accepted the role or label anyone has applied to her and is not trapped in any situation.

The cynic in me does not like the saying most often associated with this card, “Leap and a net will appear.” However, a member of the Gaian Tarot Circle, Susan Z, heard the fox say, "Remember, experience doesn't have to make you jaded. Cynicism is not the same as wisdom. Open your heart and notice the day, the flowers, and the smell of spring. Life doesn't ever get tired of blooming, so why should you?"

The Seeker is not held back by fear or grief. The hopefulness and optimism of a child guide her. Often, it's merely that attitude that can bring blessings into one's life.

What might Hestia say to me if this card appeared today?

Is the fox calling you outward, promising you the world? He is a trickster, like our friend Hermes, the god of boundaries, thresholds, and transitions.

Are you certain the call is true? Then step forward. The whole Earth is your home and my hearth is only one place among many. You have known peace and renewal in my temple. You can carry your light within yourself wherever you go.

Do you hesitate? Ask yourself why and heed your soul's answer.

When you travel outside my temple, remember the skills you have learned and adapt them to your journey. I cannot walk beside you, but I have friends and allies who will be your teachers. As you breath onto tinder to start a fire each evening, the smoke will carry your prayers to those who will share their light and wisdom with you.

Let me help prepare your pack. What will you need to carry with you?

      flint and steel and char cloth (to warm your body and inspire your soul),

      your teraphim (reminders of home and history, diviners of the future),

      your experience,

      your self-esteem,

      and your love.

Sadly, there's never a map. If you need water, watch the birds. In fact, always take time to stop and experience nature.

There will be storms. Find shelter, but listen for messages in the thunder.

See the beauty and magic around you and make each step a prayer. The rhythm of your feet on the way may bring stillness to your soul.

Welcome the people you encounter, be willing to make a home for them in your heart, but listen to the Fox to know when you should be wary. And never lose yourself, even in the bliss of belonging.

I have taught you to see the magic in the everyday and to take strength from the ordinary. The many wonders of the journey, even a simple wildflower or an unexpected creature, should overwhelm you. So recognize and appreciate the ordinariness of each day. Stay centered by noticing the sameness in your routines... rising with the sun, stepping onto the road, gazing at the sites around you, and settling into your campsite each night.

The only way to worship is to listen to your own soul. Don't chose a path that is safe and well trod unless it is also your path. Do what is right in the moment.

And when you need guidance, gaze into the fire.

Here are images of The Fool from other tarot decks:

Row one: Medieval Cat, Universal Waite, Cat's Eye Tarot

Row two: Robin Wood, Songs for the Journey Home, and Medicine Woman

Contemplative Tarot - Strength, Bindweed, and the Teacher

This week's cards are all from the Major Arcana. They are the seated figures of Strength, Bindweed, and the Teacher. I invite you to use these cards to inspire your contemplative practice and I hope you will share some of your reflections in the comments.

I am afraid, but all around me, nature speaks, 

and deep within me, understanding waits.

Ignite my strength and passion, guiding me to embrace the sacred in all I pursue.

Teach me to recognize and pursue the sacred.

The Strength card reminds us that we gain strength when we embrace our feelings. The artist's affirmation for this card is, "I face adversity with peaceful courage and inner fire." Strength is on the second path of the Major Arcana, which refers to duty and virtue. This card indicates that a person is awakening to his or her own spiritual power.

Bindweed tells us to let go of feelings that paralyze us. The artist's affirmation for this card is, "I bring my life back into balance by breaking free of the fears that keep me trapped." Bindweed is on the final path of the Major Arcana; it is the guardian of this path to a higher realm. It indicates that someone is beginning the path to spiritual enlightenment.

The Teacher represents an advisor, yet discernment is vital if we are to find a guide worthy of our trust. The artist's affirmation for this card is, "I receive my best teachings from nature." This card is on the first path of the Major Arcana and tells us that our experience of the divine can change our lives and the lives of people around us.

I love hearing back from my readers so please
leave a comment. I read each and every one!

Guns: A Brief Reflection

I'm not a fan of guns. They're loud, expensive, and, in my inexperienced hands, potentially dangerous. I have no personal need for a gun, and I hope I never will. Despite all this, I support the right of individuals to bear arms.

Why? It's partly a knee-jerk reaction, not so different from the knee-jerk reactions of gun-control advocates.

In 1799, a prosperous Irish landowner named Andrew Murphy made a bold move. Although land is a cherished possession in Ireland, and giving it up is almost unheard of, Andrew did just that.

Years earlier, Andrew's parents had sent his younger brother to Spain to become a Catholic priest, despite the British ban on foreign education and on the practice Catholicism. After completing his studies, Andrew’s brother served as a parish priest.

In 1798, the people in his parish handed over their weapons to the British, following his advice. Shortly after, he witnessed British soldiers burning down an Irish home. This event triggered a call for organized revolt, and Father Murphy became a rebel leader.

The men of Wexford, armed only with pikes, achieved several victories. However, their leader was captured two months into the rebellion.

The British subjected him to torture, hanging, decapitation, and burning his body. According to historical accounts, they even forced an Irish family to open their doors and windows so that the smoke from the priest's burning body would fill their home.

In our family's oral history, we remember only that in the spring, his brother—my four-times-great grandfather—immigrated to the United States of America. Today, his descendants, including me, a relatively liberal Jew, oppose gun control.

I acknowledge the irony of this position. In today's world, armed citizens would likely be ineffective in preserving their freedom if a government were determined to oppress its people. Nevertheless, I cannot support gun control.

A dear friend of mine, who escaped Communist Romania many years ago, once told me that she would fight to the death rather than surrender her guns. It surprised me to learn that this gentle woman even owned a gun, but her conviction was clear. She had lived through the abdication of the Romanian king in 1947 in favor of the Communist Party and the rise and transformation of of her beloved former scout leader, Nicolae Ceaușescu, into a an oppressive bloody dictator. She knows firsthand what it's like to live under a totalitarian regime and never wants to experience it again.

Would I take an armed stand for freedom? Would I at least speak out and stand up for what I believe? I hope I would find courage in the story of Rabbi— oops. I mean Father Murphy.

Here's the Irish song that commemorates the Wexford Rebellion, the brave Irishmen who fought, and Andrew's brother, their leader. (The video begins with a recitation of a Seamus Heaney poem.)

Vindicated at Last!

No one believed me...

The word 'primer' is pronounced the obvious way, pry-mer, when it refers to paint, explosives, or DNA research. However, in the United States, an elementary or introductory text book is correctly pronounced prim-er even though there's only one 'm.' (It's probably a survival of the pronunciation prior to the standardization of English spelling by Samuel Johnson in the 1750s.)

Go here if you doubt me! Click on the speaker icon.

Freedom & Footnotes

When we prepared our papers using typewriters, we were required to include footnotes. (If you never used a typewriter, stop and think about how difficult that must have been.)

Now that computers have simplified printing footnotes, footnotes are no longer de rigueur. Today, all notes are consigned to the end of the book and printed in the smallest font size available.

I keep a second bookmark in the back of the book I'm reading to keep track of what footnote I'm on, but in this age of making everything easy, shouldn't the notes be on the same page as the text?

Why have we stopped using footnotes? 

The answer may be in this TedTalks video in which historian Ray Raphael addresses the importance of footnotes. "If you believe whatever they say, you are not free and they are your masters. First rule of freedom: don't trust 'em. Second rule of freedom: find out for yourself." 

While writers are informing us, they're also hiding information from us.

So, when you are reading, read the footnotes and look up the sources. And if you're publishing a book, show a little respect for your readers by using footnotes rather than end notes.

Tentative reflections about the "gods"

The Torah reminds us to embrace our own experiences.

We should not rely on someone else's experience of the divine.

* * * 


I'm happy when I read one blogger's frequent, exuberant, and still-surprised exclamations that the gods are real. However I'm uncomfortable about adopting the idea myself as I feel some cynicism about religion.

My goal a year ago was to attempt to see reality as clearly as humanly possible. A human being can't help being a bundle of beliefs, but I wanted to try to remove as many of the blinders as I could.

Any belief system can blind us to what's real; religion is just the most obvious offender. Religion can be dangerous because it may lead us to ignore our own consciences as we conform to its doctrines; it may even keep us from “following our bliss.” Religious leaders (at their best) may focus on preserving religion as if the religion itself the ultimate value, or (at their worst) use religion to enhance their own authority and power.

I wanted to be rational and clear headed but found that I am inherently spiritual. (Perhaps if I had been taught biology or some other science in grade school, I would be more rational.) 


So last year, I decided that seeking an unmediated experience of the natural world was the way to remain free of religion while allowing myself to be what I am: spiritual. I joked that my practice was a cross between Richard Dawkins and Starhawk.

Of course, thinking that the natural world is the ultimate reality is a belief. 
 
Although that attempt has shown me much beauty and has been beneficial, I find it's easy to loosen my grip on that focus. So far, I haven't slipped back as far as organized religion, but I've been thinking about gods a lot lately.

When I responded to a challenge to write about a god, Hestia was the second to come to mind. (How could I possibly speak about HaShem?) As I wrote, I began to consider the possibility that she might be more than a psychological archetype.

Rhyd wrote about my post, "She states that she doesn't feel she can experience a god at the level of certain others. But she does." 

 
I considered this for a while and realized, "Yes, I have experienced Hestia. Deeply." But I'm not sure what "she" is. I don't want to think of her as a god, but have I experienced her as a god? 


I compared my attitude toward her to my attitude toward other some other… things/ideas/beings and was surprised by what I learned.

Nature 


My friend, Mary Belmore, coined the phrase “Force and Source of Life.” No name, no image, no god, and no doctrines. The ultimate. 


Nature has touched me. As a child, I loved the time from late afternoon until sunset, when the changing light of the lowering sun seemed to transform the world into another realm, a magical one. As a teenager, impressed into a month-long camping trip, I lost myself in the outdoors, completely forgetting myself as I gazed at trees, clouds, and rivers, and as I breathed the icy air. 


I want to return to those experiences of nature that I had when I was younger. I idealize them as Wordsworth did his.

Kali 


Many years ago, seeing for the first time an image of the Hindu goddess, Kali, gave me a powerful sense of love and safety. Then my conscious mind registered the image itself; it was a particularly horrific depiction of the goddess of the cremation grounds, gnawing on the entrails of the child she was standing upon. Despite that, my initial feelings of intimacy remained even after studying the image many times. 



When I described this experience to one of my pagan roommates, he warned me to stay away from dangerous gods like Kali. So I did.


Trelane?

One evening after dark, walking down a quiet street, I paused by a tree and reached out to touch it. I looked up and "saw" an enormous being open a door in the starry sky and peek down curiously to see what was below. After a brief look, he closed the door. 


Ganesh 


Ganesh reached out to me at an unexpected time. There was a large statue in a bookstore I had often visited. I had seen it a hundred times, but this time, I felt a presence and experienced something like ecstasy. It was dizzying. I resisted the feeling because I had, only days earlier, made promises that included this statement:

I choose to become a Jew of my own free will. I accept Judaism to the exclusion of all other religions, faiths, and practices and now pledge my loyalty to Judaism and the Jewish people under all circumstances.

The next two times I saw the statue I felt that ecstasy again. So I hurried away and did not return to that store for years. 


Today, when I see images of Ganesh, I take pleasure in his kind and gentle face. He is not resentful that I rejected his overtures, and sometimes I feel his benevolent presence, but he hasn't called to me again. 


HaShem / HaMakom

This is a complicated relationship and hard to describe. 


When I was studying with the rabbi who supported me in my conversion, I told him that I was deeply drawn to Judaism and to talmud Torah, and to the community, but that I was worried because I had not experienced god. (I had experienced god, but did not recognize the experience because it didn't correspond to what others said it should be.)

Torah and those who preserve it

In response, my rabbi lifted his hand slightly. I don't remember his words, but it seemed to me he was saying, "Stop. We shouldn’t talk about this." 
That puzzled me for years, but I think I understand now. A person's experience of the divine is private and no one should mediate it for her. 


He was a wonderful rabbi and one of the things I loved about him was that he never imposed himself on his congregation. He was—and I'm sure he still is—a leader who facilitated Jewish experience, not one who laid down any rules about what the experience should be. 


Years later, I felt called in a different direction, it seemed important to me to choose a path that was Jewish. A friend from that synagogue warned me, "My grandmother always said that if you're going to be religious, Reform is the only way." (I should have listened!) 



After that, texts and other people mediated my relationship with HaMakom, with HaShem. And gradually, insidiously, their beliefs about god became mine, often while my intuition was ringing warning bells. Eventually, all I'd gained because of Judaism was lost and my beloved foundation destroyed.

I once saw a documentary about gay, Jewish men. They were desperately seeking the understanding of ultra-Orthodox rabbis and they were, predictably, getting hurt. I knew they were thinking that those men were "the real rabbis," but in fact, those men were narrow-minded, stupid, ignorant, and heartless. I thought, "Find a nice Reform rabbi and get on with your lives." Why did I later fall into a similar trap?



Wanting to belong is the greatest sin. But it's also the only thing worth seeking.



I have experienced god in community and immersion in Torah study, mostly at my first shul.

Someday I will be able to recite the words, "I am the Eternal your god" and understand that HaShem transcends the small images people have. 

I know I will return and be welcomed.


I just learned that as I wrote it. (My eyes are tearing up.) 



When I am ready, god will extend god's hand and welcome me back. God will welcome me back.

Unverifiable Personal Gnosis

I should have followed the promptings of my soul. Torah reminds us to pay attention to our own experiences. 
It wasn’t only Moses who heard god’s voice. Tradition tells that even those of us who were not yet born, and those who would convert millennia later, experienced theophany at Sinai. But we drew back from this experience, asking Moses to "go near and hear."

And Moses called unto all Israel, and said unto them… The LORD made not this covenant with our fathers, but with us, even us, who are all of us here alive this day… and ye said: 'Behold, the LORD our God hath shown us His glory and His greatness, and we have heard His voice out of the midst of the fire; we have seen this day that God doth speak with man, and he liveth… if we hear the voice of the LORD our God any more, then we shall die. For who is there of all flesh, that hath heard the voice of the living God speaking out of the midst of the fire, as we have, and lived? Go thou near, and hear all that the LORD our God may say; and thou shalt speak unto us all that the LORD our God may speak unto thee; and we will hear it and do it.' (Devarim 5:1-23)

We should not rely on someone else’s interpretation of his or her experience. We should embrace our own experience. 



Eve relied on Adam’s interpretation of god’s instructions, and Adam failed to embrace his relationship with god when he failed to be honest and tell god what he had done. We’re not going to get it right when we listen to someone else as Eve did, or when we fail to treat our god as as a real person who wants a relationship with us, as Adam did. 



We must let god speak directly to us—even if we misunderstand, we will misunderstand in our own way. When god instructed Moses to talk to the people, Moses heard something else; he ran down the mountain and spoke only to the men. Something was lost in “translation.”

And the LORD said unto Moses: 'Go unto the people, and sanctify them today and tomorrow, and let them wash their garments, and be ready against the third day; for the third day the LORD will come down in the sight of all the people upon mount Sinai… And Moses said unto the people: 'Be ready against the third day; come not near a woman.' (Sh’mot 19:10-15) 


(According to later, ritual purity laws, men were a source of ritual impurity far more often than women were, so if anyone needed to be cautioned, it was the women.)

We did not die when we heard god’s voice at Sinai, but despite that experience we were afraid to encounter god again. The god of Torah did not expect us to believe without evidence; we are only expected to believe what we have experienced and we should respond by inviting and embracing the experience—even if it means changing our minds or throwing out the rules of conventional reality or modifying our understanding of a promise. 


Pay attention, because your intuition can guide you to do what is correct for you at this particular moment. Rational thought is a poor guide and so are rules. 
You must “act for the soul regardless of what this world demands.” (Mallika Sarabhai on The Mahabharata) 


Conclusion 



Rhyd embraces his knowledge that "the gods are real." I am learning to embrace my experiences and not to “theologize” them. I'm grateful that Hestia has taught me that "the only way to worship is to listen to your own soul." (Question XIX) 
So it is not odd that writing about Hestia, a pagan god, would bring me back to HaShem.

When I sat down at the computer to write this post, I meant to write one thing, but I learned entirely different things as I wrote it. Apparently, I do experience gods and I do believe they are, in some way, real.

When I wrote that I didn't experience Hestia as directly as other people, Rhyd told me I did. I realized then that's how it was with HaShem. I didn't believe my own experiences were good enough, so I sought a greater sense of god and a stronger connection through prayer.

My own experiences were good enough and they were my own. I did not need to seek further.

Contemplative Tarot - the Three of Earth, the Ten of Earth, and the Two of Fire

This week's cards are the Three of Earth, the Ten of Earth, and the Two of Fire from the Gaian Tarot. 

I invite you to use these cards to inspire your contemplative practice and I hope you will share some of your reflections in the comments.

Force and Source of Life, help us to live fully. 

May we be mindful of the loved ones beside us, 
the generations following us,
and the friends we meet on the way. 

May we rejoice in our work,
let endings birth new beginnings,
and embrace unexpected joy each day.

I love hearing back from my readers so please
leave a comment. I read each and every one!