Choose Life

"I have put before you life and death, blessing and curse. 

Choose life – if you and your offspring would live..."  

(Deuteronomy 30:19).

When I returned to the States, I watched myself gradually change from a living person into a dead one, from a person who reached out to others into one who might just as often curl up and hide from them. I recognized that I was in the wrong place, but still, the uncertainty of moving permanently to another country frightened me. 

After finally committing myself to making aliyah, and after out-waiting (I wish I could say "battling") the agencies that are supposed to help Jews make aliyah, I find that I may be terminally ill.

Part of me welcomes that news. Part of me wants to embrace life, jump on a plane, and go home now. I have not found a home for my cat. So I've decided to “import” her, after I obtain the results of her titer test, which will take another two months.

There are certainly worthwhile things I could do during the next two months, but I’m so tired...

July 28 update: Nutmeg passed her titer test, but is too old to travel. A very nice couple is going to adopt her after they move into their first house. Nutmeg likes them. Unfortunately, the closing has been delayed and they won't have the keys until some time in September! More waiting. This is best for Nutmeg but I'm frustrated, tired, and demoralized.