Journey - Dismemberment

Going back because I'm supposed to get the same treatment for many days. Think I'll also mention my concerns about health, resources, and relationships.

I'm standing by the Saguaro, but I want to go to the Upper World. I wonder if the hummingbird will come and get me here. Ah yes!  

Hi, let's go to the Upper World.

We're traveling, traveling. Hummingbird is carrying me by the hair. We're moving up, up. I can still see the Saguaro, but we're moving up, up. Through the clouds. There are not many clouds. Up. A few more clouds.

We're traveling over the white city. I see stairs and more flights of stairs.

Hummingbird sets me down before my teacher, Asherah.  

Hello. I said I'd come back. You said I should come back for more healing of my fear and panic and stress so I can think clearly. I have other questions, but just one question per session? Okay, yes one question. I'm following you.

We go to a different place, no stairs to climb. We get there quickly. The room feels different; I'm not really sure how it's different. I get on a table.

She's touching the back of my neck, removing the feeling of panic. She's doing something to my ears. Her hands are over my ears. Now, one hand is over my forehead. Both hands are over my ears.

Her hands are on my rib cage. I don't know what she's doing.  

Oh! She breaks my rib cage open. I'm really not here for a dismemberment. Oh, you're breaking my hip bones, too. No! Don't break my legs apart! No. Is this really how you're going to remove my fears? 

Oh, not my feet? My arms are still okay, so are my neck and head. No, I'm not trying to draw your attention to them! What are you doing? You're digging through my flesh. 

You're just going to leave me like this? 

What are you doing? I can't tell what you're taking out. 

What are you doing with my right knee? What is that you are you putting on my knee? That's good; my knee needs help. 

Now you're doing something to my right ankle, now my left ankle, now my left knee. Is my leg any stronger? 

(Why am I thinking about food while someone is ripping my body apart?) 

You're no longer ripping my body apart, you're putting stuff in. Oh, you're scooping stuff out of my belly. You're looking around in my belly. Yeah, you can rearrange things; that'd be good.

I'm very aware of my body uncomfortable on the floor, and also of my body ripped open on the table.  
You're removing fear? Oh, that was when you were working on my ears. Now you're working on my health. 

Well, my hands need some help. 

She's holding my hands. It feels very nice. She's squeezing my hands.

Ok, why are you taking my fingers off?... You're putting them back on, I like that, that's good. What are you squeezing out of my fingers? And my thumbs. You're massaging my arms, that feels good. Oh, don't break my elbows! 

What are you doing to my head? 

Oh, that is the return call... 

You're shaking stuff out of my head. Can you put me back together, because I'm supposed to return soon.

She tells me to come back tomorrow.  

Are you going to put me back together? 

You're still working on my head...sort of... I think you've reattached it. 

That's my spine. How are you reaching under me to get to my spine? 

You're closing up my belly. My ribcage is closed. And my legs. Thank you for fixing my toes. 

You're pouring honey all over me. 

And I can go now. 

Thank you, Asherah.

I ask her a question about relationships. She doesn't answer.

I'm outside the door. Hummingbird?  We fly through clouds. They feel very real. And we travel through darkness. Then we are at the Saguaro. Thank you, Hummingbird. 

I'm back.

Drumming

[Recording 6]