Sisterhood of Avalon

How I hate writing personal essays! I keep promising myself that I'll never subject myself to that torture again. Thankfully, these were not as difficult or as painful as previous application essays I've had to write.

 1. What does Avalon mean to you? Why are you drawn to walk the path of Avalon with the SOA? 

Avalon, for me, is the metaphor Jhenah Telyndru presents in her book and that the Sisterhood of Avalon describes on this website: it is a figurative, internal place from which one can gain clarity of vision that can assist one in discerning reality and knowing oneself without the blinders of cultural or personal conditioning. It is a place where one can find empowerment with which to act constructively in the world.

However, to me, Avalon also feels more concrete than a metaphor, myth, or archetype—I’m not yet certain why—and it may be that sense of concreteness attracts me. I am also attracted to the clearly individualized personalities of Avalon’s goddesses. I don't have a sense of complete personalities when I think of the Matriarchs or Shekhinah of Judaism.

Knowing where you are in relation to places (Avalon) and other beings (the Sisterhood) helps you know who you are. In Jewish tradition, god is sometimes called HaMakom, The Place, and Jewish mysticism began as an attempt to rebuild the destroyed Second Temple internally. The sephirot, arranged today in the pattern of a tree, originally represented directions and elements; the neo-pagan tradition of calling the directions is centering and reassuring for me. I hope that rituals and teachings of the Avalonian tradition will help me ground myself and find my place.

While not extremely familiar with Welsh mythology, the goddesses also seem real to me in ways that Asherah and Shekhinah, and even the Matriarchs and Mothers do not. Blodeuwedd, Arianrod, and Avalon's other goddesses are individuals and have lessons to teach. (I also want to know what Afagdu does after Gwydion takes his blessing, after the land is poisoned, and while his mother spends a year chasing Gwydion.)

I need and deeply desire Jewish studies, but I have postponed my participation in Kohenet, the Hebrew Priestess Institute, because no amount of learning will help me serve as a Kohenet unless I first find both community and Avalon Within. Jhenah calls Avalon a liminal place; being trained in that Welsh place will undoubtedly change my Jewish experience in unexpected ways, but I hope someday to step through Avalon’s doorway to Sarah’s tent, Deborah’s palm tree, or the entrance of the mishkan.

I’m not sure I have the stamina for “the difficult path of inner process work” that Avalon requires; in fact, I have serious doubts. However, I know with certainty that *if* I can face the inner darkness, the Sisterhood of Avalon will transform me in the ways that I hope to be transformed.

2. In what ways do you feel you can contribute to a community of women? 

My two greatest skills may be of minimal use in an online community. I am a listener. It’s something I do better than almost anyone else I know. My listening allows people to speak and also helps them discover things within themselves that they might not have been able to express or even recognize before. I’m also pretty good at leading ritual. It’s only necessary to make “space” for people to participate. A little structure gives people a lot of freedom to express themselves ritually, just as Shabbat restrictions can make a lot of space for the divine presence. I am curious to see whether dialogue and connection is possible in an online community.

I’m a professional tarot reader, so perhaps my participation in the divination group will be a way to give. Volunteering seems a natural part of being held by community; I’m not a politician—if a community identifies a need, I take practical steps to get the work done rather than make speeches or draw attention to myself.

It may be that I will give nothing more than shared belief and participation. My sense of Avalon being real and concrete, of the goddesses being meaningful figures in our lives will support others on this path. It might be comparable to the simple act of moving close enough to a community so that you can walk rather than drive on Shabbat; that gives moral support to others who have also chosen to live that way.

I need community to be my best self. Independence and empowerment require a community. Community gives you the opportunity to give of yourself, (no one is really selfish enough to act just for herself) which is satisfying and helps you recognize your own worth; it gives you the opportunity to increase your strengths.

Honestly, I’m most interested in what I will gain from you. I need the Sisterhood of Avalon because I have no idea how to journey the paths described in Jhenah’s book without guidance from women who have already explored them.

3. What does the SOA motto, "Remembering, Reclaiming, and Renewing," mean to you? 

The Sisterhood of Avalon’s motto says that Avalon’s sisters value their tradition enough to excavate, preserve, and transform it. It instructs us to reach into the past to learn how our ancestors or predecessors understood and interacted with both the world and their culture; it encourages us to explore and live those ways ourselves; and, most importantly, it will teach us to weave those thoughts and beliefs into a tapestry that is vital and invigorating today.

Jhenah says Avalon may never have existed, but I think the study of its myths and the culture that supported those myths is like building a temple where women can become priestesses. We do not need to be victim’s of Avalon’s absence; we are her discoverers and, perhaps, her creators.

Jews were expelled from our place of worship in 70 AD; sixty years later, we were nearly exterminated. We took our trauma and confusion and transformed our memories into a portable culture. We preserved the oral tradition of our culture and our memories of Temple ritual. We turned an image of a destroyed Land, Mother Zion, into a new goddess, Shekhinah; we felt abandoned by god, but envisioned a Mother going into exile with us. No one could have imagined Judaism surviving the destruction. Composing a prayer book, writing down our memories of Temple-era practices, radically changing our culture in response to new situations, and developing a mystical tradition is the Jewish example of the Sisterhood’s motto, “Remembering, Reclaiming, and Renewing.”

Personally, I hope to find wholeness in the Avalonian tradition, a place to encounter her priestesses and her goddesses. I hope to walk through that liminal place into Sarah’s tent with a newfound ability not just to *sense* the Shekhinah or recognize her in our songs or texts, but to actually encounter her.

In Judaism, learning is a conversation within one’s community and within the generations, three thousand years of texts. Each conversation renews the old and builds anew. Little can be gleaned from Torah if you study alone. I hope the same can be said for self-discovery within the Sisterhood of Avalon.

Since each of us may explore a slightly different Avalon within, we can weave our unique and shared experiences into a tapestry. Immersing in that tradition will transform our vision. It seems to me that learning the Welsh language must be a huge part of the path, but I will be focusing on Hebrew. Hopefully those sisters who are transforming themselves with language can share some of their insights with those of us who are not.

I hope that learning with the Sisters of Avalon will help me find my inner priestess and build a mishkan, a dwelling place, for the feminine divine presence. Learning with other women and sharing experiences will help each of us remember, reclaim, and renew the ancient place of the priestesses of Avalon.