Journey

I planned to journey to the upper world to speak with my teacher. I wanted to ask her name and what else she wants me to know about her. I wanted some advice about my cat; I may have found her a new home, but before I leave, I'd like her to have a power animal or some kind of protection. I also wanted to ask my teacher to help me find a power animal for myself.

I stepped onto the balcony and watched the hummingbird feeder
A hummingbird arrived and again ignored my right hand
He grabbed my hair with his long bill and we flew up past the building and to the clouds

We traveled though the clouds, quickly, but not as quickly as before
Above them, the sky was still blue
Even after we passed through the "aura" of the Earth, the sky was still light blue
Then we were in space and I could see some stars

Again, hummingbird set me down on the surface that I could not see
The wide, white stairs were ahead and a few people were on them
I climbed past the old man's house and through the alley with many houses
Fewer children were playing
I worried that my teacher might not be in the same place I'd met her before

The stairway I was climbing ended at the small plaza
She was standing at the bottom of the staircase she'd been descending last time
I hurried toward her
She touched me cheek and took my hand
We flew toward her home and entered the doorway

The fountain and couches were the same
We sat down and tea was served
After my first sip, I asked her name
I didn't hear clearly, there was an 'sh' sound in it

Shara?, I asked

I felt that she'd accept my calling her that
Shara, I said again

Then I said, I will try not to be so impatient this time
She smiled and we watched the fountain

I rushed
I told her that I wanted to make Nutmeg safe and that I'd like to meet a power animal

She said she would go to the lower world with me
I noticed that she didn't promise to find me a power animal
I tried to be patient, but instead asked, Can we go now?
She laughed, held my hand, and lead me to the fountain

We dove into the water, which carried us back to the Earth, past my balcony and to the saguaro
Standing before it, I introduced her to Asherah (that's what I call the saguaro) and took her hand again
We dove into woodpecker nest side by side

She had a wand in her right hand that lit the tunnel
It illuminated the cave, too
We had stopped holding hands when we reached the cave

I told her about the canoe
When we reached the river, it appeared
Shara pointed her wand toward it
I could not hear what she was saying, but knew she was blessing the canoe

Then, holding hands, we flew up toward the grassy opening
We stood above the ocean
It wasn't windy this time
She looked around and seemed to be thinking seriously
Then she led me up to the sweat lodge
She was silent and serious
We stood there for a long time

Then a white bird landed on the tall (north?) wall on the far side of the church
I wondered what kind of bird it was
It was completely white, very, very white
We watched it for a little while and then Shara lead me to the church
After we entered, the bird flew down to the altar

Are you my power animal, I asked

It flew up to the shorter wall of the church
I looked at Shara and she seemed very serious... worried?
I was impatient to go elsewhere so we could look for a power animal, but decided to say nothing and to wait

Shara motioned that I should approach the bird
Voicelessly, she instructed me to ask the bird to be my power animal
I did and it flew toward me
I put out my right hand and it landed on my hand
I could feel when it pecked gently at my forefinger
Then it jumped onto my left shoulder and told me it would be my power animal until another one appeared
I could see it from the corner of my eye, but not feel it on my shoulder

I asked what it's name was

Dove

What can you teach me, I asked

How to fly without fear that you'll loose control
I knew he was referring to dreams I had as a kid in which I kept climbing higher and higher and was unable to descend and land

Dove held me and we took off, Shara behind us, flying over the low wall of the church and then down to the sweat lodge
We flew around the sweat lodge, close to the ground
Then we flew up and toward the ocean
We dove down to the ocean waves and then up
Before we reached the clouds, we dove down again
Then we flew back toward the church and to the gate I'd seen on my first journey here

We flew just a little further and landed near the remains of an old fire
It was small and round and close to the hillside
The ashes in it were mostly black rather than gray
I asked if people had been there recently
Dove seemed to nod, Shara said nothing

We flew back to the ocean, diving close to the waves and up
We did this many times
Dove wasn't holding me all the time
Shara was laughing and I felt the misty, salt water covering me each time we dove close the the waves

Dove was holding me again and we all flew to the grassy opening
I thanked him for the lesson and for being my power animal

Just until another appears, he reminded me

I felt disappointed at his reluctance
I thanked Shara for introducing us
Then Shara and I went down into the cave and back through the tunnel

We stood outside the saguaro and she reached out to touch it

As we flew to my balcony, I wanted to ask her to stay with me, but was afraid of being too demanding
I asked anyway and she agreed
I asked her what I should do today

Just what immediately needs doing, don't worry about the future

We landed on the balcony and I thanked her again

I'm back.

Odd that she touches my cheek, affectionate
Just after the journey, I found several Wikipedia articles about that name
Later, I wondered if the name were related to the Darkover novels
This evening, I wondered if the name she gave me was actually Asherah
In Cave and Cosmos, Harner says that people meet divinities in the upper world
Is she the goddess Asherah or a spirit who is simply named Asherah?
In Cave and Cosmos, Harner says you should have only one question per journey
I did emphasize that the first thing I wanted to do was find a power animal
Again, I didn't really try to be present to her or get to know her
Interesting that she blessed the canoe
She was so serious and seemed to be considering a problem
Had she wanted me to ask her something else?
Was she concerned because I hadn't seen any animals in the lower world?
Did I see the "holy spirit" at the Christian church? (oy)
The teacher in the Spokane workshop said a power animal would appear to you three times
I saw the bird on the north wall of the church, on the altar, and on the south wall
My teacher seemed so serious-- why?
I wonder if my teacher asked the bird to agree to be my power animal
The bird responded quickly when I asked what he could teach me; maybe it wanted to be my power animal all along
Interesting that that was my lesson
What did the campfire indicate?
Were the people who left it visitors, like me, or residents of the lower world?
I flew on my own, but I wasn't as ecstatic as people who described their journeys in Harner's book
I didn't do anything "important" today
When I was eating lunch, I asked my teacher if she could taste the food through me and invited her to do so