Tarot BlogHop MidFall/Samhain 2017

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This season's topic suggestion from Jay Cassels was too emotionally charged for me to work with publicly. So I decided to take a different approach. I turned to a tarot spread developed by Carolyn Cushing to gain insight into how best to navigate this season. This reading allowed me to explore what sacred path I should follow, which contemplative practices would aid me on my journey, and which attitudes and behaviors would be most beneficial in undertaking these practices at this time.

To perform this reading, I divided my tarot deck into three piles: one containing the Majors and the Aces, another containing the other Number cards, and the last one containing the People cards. I shuffled each pile separately and drew one card from each to answer the following questions:

from right to left: 

The Teacher, the Ten of Earth, and the Explorer of Air

from The Gaian Tarot by Joanna Powell Colbert

1. What sacred path would best serve me this season?
The card drawn for this question was 5 - THE TEACHER. The image suggests embracing a mindset of continuous learning and growth. It encourages me to seek guidance by spending time contemplating nature, engaging in introspection, and learning to trust my insights. This season, the focus should be on personal development, embracing lessons from life experiences, and cultivating a deeper understanding of myself as well as a sense of oneness with creation.

2. What contemplative practice will help me move along this pathway?
The card drawn for this question was THE TEN OF EARTH, which symbolizes reflection on the cyclical changes of the seasons, ancestral wisdom, and my own legacy. It suggests engaging in practices that foster introspection and connection with my roots, both ancestral and experiential. Reflecting on the cyclical nature of life, honoring traditions, and contemplating the impact of my deeds on future generations can provide insights and a sense of purpose.

3. What attitudes and behaviors will be most helpful in undertaking this practice?
The card drawn for this final question was THE EXPLORER OF AIR, which represents curiosity, courage, and mental clarity. This season calls for achieving a mindset of openness to new perspectives and a willingness to explore different paths. By cultivating a sense of curiosity and embracing uncertainty, I will be able to navigate challenges with resilience and creativity. Focusing on my highest values and rising above negative thought patterns will be necessary to foster personal growth and self-awareness.

Since I chose to use The Gaian Tarot for this reading, it's no surprise that the reading emphasized spending time in nature as a way to experience this season. I've shifted from Carolyn's more mystical interpretations to more practical ones that can help me in personal development. This reading reminds me to reconnect with the natural world, learn from it, and trust in my own inner wisdom. Somehow, awareness of nature will go hand in hand with self awareness. I will reflect on how to develop resilience. As the season unfolds, I will keep these insights in mind and strive to walk the sacred path of learning and contemplation. 

If you ever find yourself wondering about the season ahead, perhaps a tarot reading like this one can provide you with the guidance and clarity you seek.

Click on the links below to read posts from other participants in the Tarot Blog Hop!

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Bright moments

Easy day because of a little help a friend had already offered me. Beautiful day because I'm in Eilat.
 
I was familiar with the bus stop and bus route to the doctor's today because Arlan had volunteered to come with me to that office the first time I had an appointment. (Bus 6 in front of the sefriyah.)

Today, I didn't know the bus schedule, but luckily arrived just seconds before the bus, and I didn't have to stand in the sun for an hour. After I got on the bus, Arlan texted me with a reminder of which streets and neighborhoods I'd travel before getting to my stop all the way across town. It felt good to recognize places in the city; the information he has been giving me on our walks has sunk in!

The last time, Arlan and I had gone to the mall from the doctor's office, so today I had to ask him which bus to take back home and where to catch it. I waited perhaps 60 seconds before it arrived. (Yay!) I could have gotten off on Yerushalayim HaShleima near WIZO, but stayed on much longer. The bus seemed to meander away from where I was headed, but eventually I recognized HaTivat HaNegev. The walk back to my apartment was short and the weather wasn't too hot.

The therapist's appointment was a big disappointment, not the chance to talk that I'd been waiting and waiting for. But when I returned home, I discovered that my internet had fixed itself. Thank goodness!

Poppy?

Soul candles and sukkahs

The Hebrew date of my mother's yahrtzeit is on motzei Yom Kippur. It's traditional to begin building a sukkah that night, after Yom Kippur goes out. What kind of ritual could I create for that evening, remembering my mother and using those memories to build a shelter for a figurative harvest, a shelter to dwell in while I journey under the wings of Shekhinah towards a place of promise?

Floating Sukkah, photo by Shoshana Jedwab and sukkah by
the Isabella Freedman Jewish Retreat Center. 

Tomorrow is the Gregorian date of the anniversary of my mother's death. At sunset this evening, I lit a ner neshama for her, on my bedroom altar, since, because it's not Shabbos, it can be moved before I go to bed and the flickering light won't haunt me all night. (I'm not shomeret-anything anymore, but a rule or two has stuck with me.)

At the center of my altar is an image of Leah. Before I lit the candle, I said spontaneously,

Leah, please embrace my mother and comfort her. Sarah, Rivkah, Bilhah, Rachel, Zilpah, v'Leah, my Mothers, welcome Dolores, daughter of Mary, daughter of Susan, Daughter of Brigit. Hold her; heal Dolores, mother of Jeannine. Help me understand her and teach us to embrace.

 Then I recited Kaddish and El Malei Rachamim.

Leah by Sara Novenson

The date of my mother's yahrtzeit should be easy to remember: motzei Yom Kippur. I always remembered it when my father was still alive (he'd nod his approval and say, "God damn Jews do something right"), but I've forgotten the date many times since he passed away. Some years, if I remember soon enough, it's possible to light a "makeup candle" on the Gregorian date (this evening).

Perhaps if I understood her better, I'd have a stronger connection to her and I would remember. Or perhaps, her passing was so difficult for me, that part of me needs to forget. There was the horror of her dying, the horror of how she died, and the added horror of sensing in myself some relief that she was gone and that I didn't need to be afraid any more. 

I believe that during some period of my life, perhaps when I was an infant, my mother must have shown me love. Otherwise, why would I have always longed for her love? Looking back on the years that I can remember, all I can say is "God, that woman really hated me."

This past Rosh HaShannah and Yom Kippur were amazing and gave me insights and hope for the future. Over the last few days, the hope has faded and most of the insights, too. Then I zoned out for nineteen hours last night, the night before I was to light a ner neshamah for my mother.

I always remember to light a candle for my father's yahrtzeit. I've come to understand him. I don't understand my mother. I recognize that she was in hiding most of my life. I didn't discover until after she died that she had no friends or even acquaintances (she always spoke as if she did), she seldom left the house, and, during the last few years of her life, she brilliantly concealed her senility.

Was her reclusiveness her choice or my father's? He did try to keep me isolated, so maybe he was the cause of her isolation, too. (Then again, she tried to keep him isolated-- a year or two before she died, she said we shouldn't let him go out and talk to people because "he says terrible things about us.")

I know little about my mother's life. The one time I dared asked how my parents met, my mother silenced my father; so it was only when she was dying that he told me they married after knowing each other for only two days. (Was the story he told me true?) I know three of her babies died and I imagine she had many miscarriages because of her A-Negative blood type. I know that when she was a little girl, she had a Russian friend named Valentine, and that she found a copy of Lady Chatterly's Lover hidden underneath her mother's mattress. She told me that her mother-in-law was mean and that I looked just like her. She once told me that she hated how her father treated her mother. She gave me very little advice (most of it insane) and told me family histories that I later learned were not true, but I don't know if she was untruthful or out of touch with reality.

I recall only a few motherly moments with her. And two thought provoking moments. Many occasions when she was viciously cruel. And a couple of occasions when she was mean without apparently intending to be.

Who was this woman that I am commanded to honor, this woman I want to love?

Hugging Dad

Rabbi Berg isn't a hugger, so I was so touched by the enthusiastic hug he greeted me with on Rosh HaShannah. I'm also not a hugger, so my response was a tiny bit clumsy.

Once, when I was five or six, and wanted to show solidarity with my father when my mom was yelling at him, I threw my arms around him. He shouted back at her, "Now look what you've made her do!"

Years later, when I was dropping him off at the airport, I tried to hug him and he avoided it by quickly bending over to pick up his suitcase.

Moments after he died, I tried to lean over the hospital bed and hug him. The rail on the hospital bed was too high, so I couldn't.

At least I'm not an abomination

The statement “A woman wearing a tallis and wrapping tefillin is an anathema to Orthodox women” was a response I encountered during a Facebook discussion on Ryan Bellerose's page. It is frustrating to witness Jewish women cursing fellow Jewish women who choose to observe the mitzvot, the commandments of our Torah, particularly when Israel is under serious threat from Christian missionaries and Islamic terrorists.

Living in Israel, I have experienced the unfortunate reality that I cannot freely pray at the Kotel while wearing my tallit, unless I am prepared to risking being spat on or subjected to physical violence.

I struggle to comprehend why Orthodox women feel compelled to dictate whether other Jewish women should wear tallitot or wrap tefillin. Why should the practice of another person or another community interest them?
The Rabbis stated that women are not obligated to observe time-bound mitzvot (with the ironic exceptions of lighting Shabbat candles, immersing in the mikveh, and taking challah, which are all required of women and are definitely time-bound). However, the Rabbis never prohibited women from observing other commandments. In fact, the Talmud even mentions women who observed the mitzvot and it regards such actions positively. The daughters of Rashi, a renowned medieval commentator on the Talmud, wrapped tefillin. Were they considered anathemas? Certainly not!

Ryan has deleted all comments to this pos

Ryan's underlying concern is the prohibition on Jews praying on the Temple Mount, which is indeed a significant issue. However, it is important to acknowledge that we cannot democratically change this reality. In 1967, Israel regained control of Jerusalem, which had been conquered and occupied by Jordan in 1949. As part of a diplomatic resolution, Israel entrusted Jordanian Islamic authorities with control over the Dome of the Rock and the Al-Aqsa mosque. Prayer at the Western Wall, which is located below the Temple Mount, falls within the purview of Israeli democracy.

There is no valid reason for Damon Rosen to falsely claim that everything is perfectly satisfactory at the Kotel nor should he denigrate non-Orthodox Jews by referring to them as 'Jewish-in-quotes.’

Our sages, Chazal, asserted that the destruction of the Temple was a consequence of baseless hatred among Jews, and sadly, such hatred exists today. Damon's words only fuel the fires of animosity.

During the High Holy Days, while I was in the United States, I was free to wear my tallit in public as I prayed as a Jew. It was a personal and meaningful experience that did not harm anyone and felt right. However, living in Israel, I will not be able dance with a Torah scroll on Simchat Torah this year, a holiday that signifies our joy in receiving the Torah. This limitation is due to the influence of right-wing Orthodoxy on practices and norms here.

In all other areas of Israeli life, diversity is accepted and we celebrate our shared heritage. Divisions that affect our spiritual lives are a real anathema.

Looking over the mehitza, stealing a siddur, and desecrating it!

Fast Reading

I get lost when I do emotionally charged readings for myself. So I did these three readings really fast, so I wouldn't have time to overthink. My thanks to Dianna Collins for insights into the Eight of Cups and The Hermit.

Middle row: what purpose should I strive to achieve now? 
2 Wands - it's time to take action, make a choice 
Emperor - be realistic and act logically, create structure 
Temperance - take a moderate approach but test yourself 
Conclusion: focus on immediate employment rather than dreams

Top row: how helpful to hire a career coach? (images mirror cards of middle row) 
3 Wands - action taken, creating a future  
King Coins - practicality and hard work lead to success 
10 Coins - financial success and dream of belonging 
Conclusion: it would be helpful

Bottom row: how helpful to move back to the US? (images seem to be the reverse of the middle row) 

Knight Swords - think through decision
8 Cups - painful act of letting go, might be nothing more to be done here 

Hermit - discern an entirely new path for yourself 

Conclusion - don't rush; give this some thought