My mother, who was born in 1925, always emphasized that abortion was my most important right. Growing up, I accepted this belief without question. My confidence in this “right” shifted during paralegal school when I decided to read Roe v. Wade. I was shocked by the poor legal reasoning of the decision and realized it was only a matter of time before it would be overturned.
The recent overturning of Roe and the ensuing debate have prompted me to examine the issue more deeply.
Before the advent of modern medicine and contraceptives, women often valued chastity before marriage not because of societal or patriarchal control but out of necessity. Childbirth was dangerous, sometimes fatal, and unmarried women who died in childbirth left no one to care for their children. This grim reality profoundly shaped women’s behavior and choices.
Before the judicial legalization of abortion, even married women sometimes risked their lives to obtain abortions in unsanitary and unsafe conditions. The issue has never been a simple debate between "life" and "choice." It’s a deeply complex matter of survival, autonomy, supporting existing children, and moral gray areas.
The necessity for unsafe, illegal abortions diminished with the introduction of reliable contraceptives. Contraceptives transformed society, giving women control over when they gave birth and enabling them to shape their economic futures-- and also enabling families to acquire more wealth. This empowerment significantly contributed to equality of the sexes. (It had other, less fortunate consequences that are less black and white, but I won't address those now.)
Yet many who identify as "pro-life" also oppose contraceptives, creating a contradiction in their stance. If the goal is to reduce abortions, accessible contraception should be a shared priority. Limiting access to contraceptives undermines the very foundation of women’s autonomy and progress.
I’ve never thought the pro-life side was entirely pro-life, as many within the movement don't support childcare while also oposing contraceptives. Today, I don’t believe the pro-choice side is entirely pro-choice either. While I still support the right to choose, I’ve become disillusioned by the radicalism of some pro-choice rhetoric.
A few years ago, there was a campaign to “advertise your abortion.” The intention was to reduce stigma and normalize abortion by encouraging women to share their stories openly. While well-meaning, I found the campaign counterproductive. Abortion is a deeply personal and often painful decision. Making it public may increase awareness of the number of women who have abortions, but it doesn’t necessarily foster acceptance of those choices.
I had a friend in college who realized she was pregnant early (apparently, morning sickness occurs immediately) and decided to have an abortion without hesitation. Nonetheless, she kept her decision private, reflecting what many women felt then: abortion should be safe, legal, and private.
More recently, I’ve seen statements from trans women in which they express the aspiration to have abortions as a validation of their womanhood. Vocalizing this aspiration often alienates people from the pro-choice argument. Most people, male and female don't believe that abortion should be a goal, and for many women, motherhood is a goal.
It’s hard to argue that a newly formed embryo is not a life. At the same time, I cannot say with certainty that a woman must carry and give birth to it. This is where some of the tension lies: balancing the value of life with the value of a woman's autonomy.
I don’t believe there are simple answers to this debate. Both extremes—opposing abortion entirely and glorifying it—fail to address the complexity of the issue.
The abortion debate isn’t just about life or choice; it’s also about autonomy, family values, and the profound human questions that arise when these values conflict. To move forward, we must approach the issue with empathy and nuance, rejecting the extremes that dominate the discourse. For me, and I suspect, for many others, the ideal is for abortion to remain "legal, safe, and rare," limited to the first trimester except in cases of medical necessity.
