Barbie: The Movie

Just watched Barbie, and I loved it!

The anti-woke outrage? Totally overblown. This is a fun, clever movie… about dolls. It takes the unrealistic world of Barbie and spins it into something self-aware, entertaining, and surprisingly moving.

One thing the movie nailed: as kids, we never knew what to do with Ken. He really was just Barbie’s accessory—and the film captured that perfectly. Honestly, I found myself cheering for the Kens. They weren’t portrayed as villains or victims, just as dolls waking up to the fact that they had no defined identity of their own.

Helen Mirren’s narration is perfect. Of course. The human mother and daughter added some warmth and grounding to the story—though Gloria’s big speech went on a bit too long for my taste. It was really touching when Gloria's daughter began singing along to the Indigo Girls with her mom. And I really enjoyed Barbie’s quiet, unexpected conversations with the ghost of Ruth Handler, the woman who created her.

Also amusing: the human father/husband's cameo. A nice parallel to Ken’s role in Barbie’s world, and a funny little nod to how secondary male characters can be in stories addressed to women.

I was never at all attached to my own Barbie doll, but I did love rebuilding her pink townhouse every time we moved. And I had a great time sewing clothes for her by hand—since the glue in the Barbie Sewing Machine never worked.

Also: when is Mattel releasing Barbie’s Enormous Gem Necklace? Asking for a friend.

What about you? What are your Barbie memories? Did you love her, ignore her, cut her hair off? Feel free to share your stories in the comments—I’d love to hear them.

The Abortion Debate

My mother, who was born in 1925, always emphasized that abortion was a woman's most important right. Growing up, I accepted this belief without question. My confidence in this “right” shifted during paralegal school when I decided to read Roe v. Wade. I was shocked by the poor legal reasoning of the decision and realized it was only a matter of time before it would be overturned.

The recent overturning of Roe and the ensuing debate have prompted me to examine the issue more deeply.

Before the advent of modern medicine and contraceptives, women often valued chastity before marriage not because of societal or patriarchal control but out of necessity. Childbirth was dangerous, sometimes fatal, and unmarried women who died in childbirth left no one to care for their children. This grim reality profoundly shaped women’s behavior and choices. When a woman did survive childbirth, she needed a partner to raise her children.

Before the judicial legalization of abortion, even married women sometimes risked their lives to obtain abortions in unsanitary and unsafe conditions. The issue has never been a simple debate between "life" and "choice." It’s a deeply complex matter of survival, autonomy, supporting existing children, and moral gray areas.

The necessity for unsafe, illegal abortions diminished with the introduction of reliable contraceptives. Contraceptives transformed society, giving women control over when they gave birth and enabling them to shape their economic futures-- and also enabling families to acquire more wealth. This empowerment significantly contributed to equality of the sexes. (It had other, less fortunate consequences that are less black and white, but I won't address those now.)

Yet many who identify as "pro-life" also oppose contraceptives, creating a contradiction in their stance. If the goal is to reduce abortions, accessible contraception should be a shared priority. Limiting access to contraceptives undermines the very foundation of women’s autonomy and progress.

I’ve never thought the pro-life side was entirely pro-life, as many within the movement don't support childcare and also oppose contraceptives. Today, I don’t believe the pro-choice side is entirely pro-choice either! I’ve become disillusioned by the radicalism of some pro-choice rhetoric.

A few years ago, there was a campaign to “advertise your abortion.” The intention was to reduce stigma and normalize abortion by encouraging women to share their stories openly. While presumably well-intended, it seemed counterproductive. Abortion is a deeply personal and often painful decision. Making it public may increase awareness of the number of women who have abortions, but I hardly think it will foster acceptance of those choices.

I had a friend in college who realized she was pregnant (apparently, morning sickness starts right away) and decided, seemingly without hesitation, to have an abortion. Nonetheless, she kept her decision private, reflecting what many women felt then: abortion should be safe, legal, and private.

More recently, I’ve seen statements from trans women in which they express the aspiration to have abortions as a validation of their womanhood. Vocalizing this aspiration often alienates people from the pro-choice argument. Most people, male and female don't believe that abortion should be a goal, and for most women, motherhood is a goal.

It’s hard to argue that a newly formed embryo is not a life. At the same time, it's just as hard to argue that a woman must carry and give birth to that life. This is where some of the tension lies: balancing the value of life with the value of a woman's wisdom.

I don’t believe there are simple answers to this debate. Both extremes— opposing abortion entirely and glorifying it— fail to address the complexity of the issue.

The abortion debate isn’t just about life or choice; it’s also about autonomy, family values, and the profound human questions that arise when these values conflict. To move forward, we must approach the issue with empathy and nuance, rejecting the extremes that dominate the discourse. For me, and I suspect, for many others, the ideal is for abortion to remain "legal, safe, and rare," limited to the first trimester except in cases of medical necessity.

U.S. Christians "Under Siege"

Church in Baghdad, from www.atour.com

On first hearing that statement, one might find it absurd. Middle Eastern Christians are being murdered because they are Christians, while American Christians exercise social, religious, political, and economic freedom.

However, it is a fact that America Christians are under siege. At one time, all branches of the federal and state governments were aligned with Christian mores. Today, Christians are losing that power.

Here is a well known example. Kim Davis, a clerk in Kentucky, has been incarcerated for refusing to issue marriage licenses after the United States Supreme Court ruled that gay marriage is legal. She tried to arrogate to herself the power to impose her beliefs on other people.

Sorry, Kim. The United States Constitution prohibits the government from imposing any religion or religious doctrine. For example: President Obama cannot write a prayerbook and compel your church to use it! Your position as a government official does not give you the power to impose your beliefs on other people.

Does it need to be said that comparing yourself to Martin Luther King, Jr. is laughable?

Christians in the U.S., from camphanes.org
(click to see suffering, Christian children in the U.S.)

It is ignorant to claim that the Supreme Court is a dictatorship hostile to Christians. It is ignorant to claim that states' law should supersede federal law. It is ignorant to believe that the words "man" and "woman" on a county form are divine command. And Mike Huckabee knows better.

The United States Constitution gives Christians many rights, including the right to tell their elected representatives to overturn the Supreme Court’s ruling.

Christians have rights and freedoms in the United States, but it's not the "good-ole days." Christian power is indeed under siege. This is a good thing for everyone.

Addendum: Here is a brilliant post on this topic from Shaun Paul at Stone of Destiny.

Why do we care more about animals than humans?

The killing of Cecil the Lion has captured widespread attention. Outrage is everywhere. I'm sad, too—and horrified. What kind of person would do such a thing?

It’s right to feel sorrow. But I find myself wondering why we so rarely hear about human deaths in Zimbabwe, or across Africa, or in much of the world. Maybe others, like me, would rather not know.

Why is that? Do we feel more empowered to protect animals than to face human suffering? Is it a way to shield ourselves from feeling helpless? Do we feel a special tenderness toward animals because they seem vulnerable and dependent? Is racism part of the equation? Or is something else at work?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please feel free to share in the comments.

“The Most Subversive Show on Television”

Au contraire, mes amis.

Most of us have accepted the idea that privacy is a thing of the past. Person of Interest helps us embrace the idea that this is just fine. Someone is watching out for us. We’re in good hands.

Where’s the subversion? Here: anyone who is worried about “privacy issues”—or who quotes Benjamin Franklin—is a terrorist. The real threat to our safety and privacy are the folks pulling his strings.

It’s possible that the show’s portrayal of women is subversive. (Am I being ironic or sardonic? I can never decide.) For the most part, women in Person of Interest are crazy, bloodthirsty, or both. While our culture pretends to abhor violence it is, in fact, only horrified when violence is committed by women. So maybe this “subversive” show will diminish double standards in sentencing hearings.

The writers have refined their approach to edgy, female characters. Initially, they went too far with the psychotic CIA agent, but the sociopathic assassin is just right. Having The Machine set the deranged hacker on a slightly straighter path was a good move, too.

Carter is obviously the heroine; she’s smart, tough, and beautiful, and any blood she sheds is in a righteous cause. But is there room on television for an intelligent, sophisticated, savvy role model like Zoe? Not much, apparently.

The show does blow one secret wide open: women like each other. We can be friends. And we often talk about things other than men and manicures. In this show, what we talk about is firearms…

The third season of Person of Interest is the most engaging so far. The Carter/HR story arc is exciting. We learn more about Finch when he says “if they hurt my true love, kill them all.” In one episode, Jim Caviezel is finally allowed to play something slightly more complex than a cross between Clint Eastwood and Lurch. My favorite character in the show, Fusco, played by Kevin Chapman, got one especially good scene.

Next season, I hope to see more of the mob-boss/high-school teacher who makes great marinara. (I love short, fat men.) I’m worried, however, that I may start caring about The Machine.

I do hope the producers will hire a new wardrobe manager for the fourth season. Currently, the position seems to be held by a misogynist. When three, beautiful women go out for a night of dancing and acting as serial-killer-bait, they are in dressed in nearly identical, positively hideous dresses. (And that white thing Shaw wears in another episode? Four boobs instead of two was not a good look for her.)

Bentley Blockade and Social License

I learned the term "social license" today. It's the idea that people are more powerful than corporations. (Corporations will, no doubt, learn to use the term for their own benefit, but for now, let's be optimists.)

from http://www.ecocitizenaustralia.com.au

Last year, a friend in Australia mentioned meetings in her local community that she was attending to learn about fracking. At that time, all I knew about fracking was that it had created a boom (figuratively speaking) in North Dakota.

I'd read that long-term residents near the North Dakota oil fields weren't happy with the damage to the community and the environment, but…  Jobs! One woman, found work transporting gas, after both she and her husband had been out of work for nearly two years. She was one of only two female truckers working in a place with virtually no law and order, so she carried an iron bar with her at all times in case she needed to defend herself. There were health risks, too, but she was able to send money (lots of money) home to her husband and daughter.

That and other articles I'd read about fracking in the U.S. barely mentioned environmental damage and I didn't look any further than those articles. Because… Jobs!

Susan's posts about fracking and her links to documentaries and to websites opened my eyes. But protesting?

"Good luck with that, folks," was the thought that I kept to myself.

The Australian gas company, Metgasco, ignored the opposition of local people, but that wasn't the end of the story. All the talkers stood up! Since early March, the Bentley Blockade has been gaining more attention and more support. Susan passes the blockade on her way to work so I've seen pictures and videos of the campsite as it has grown and visitors have increased.

I am filled with hope.

How will the gas company and the politicians respond? Other protests in Australia have had some success. If these blockaders prevail, will it make a difference elsewhere?

At the very least, it will make all the difference there.

And imagine how children at the Bentley Blockade will view their role in the world.

by Susan McGeever

by Susan McGeever

"We Had Everything But Money" or "Wasn't the Great Depression Fabulous?"

It's intriguing that people who grew up during the Great Depression have so many fond memories of that time. Maybe it's only because their parents sheltered them from knowing just how hard things were. Or maybe they had the right attitude: pay attention to what you do have.

Things are tight now, too, and many people are out of work. Even if you are doing well, it's wise to put as much as possible aside for retirement. Remember, if you're under fifty, you will never see a Social Security check.

There are a few websites that offer advice about the satisfaction of "simple living," but that seems to be a rich person's hobby.

I'm not extravagant. I haven't had cable television or a land line for years and I've always been a fan of the public library, but I'd like to cut down even more. These are a few things I'm doing to be more frugal.

How to save money on utility bills:

1. Turn your hot water heater down below "warm." You'll have to turn it up a couple hours before you shower, but you'll save an amazing amount on both your water and natural gas bills.
2. Tolerate a slightly colder house. 
3. If you're struggling, showers are available at public sports facilities. (Make sure they are SAFE!) 
4. Many utility companies have discounted rates for people with low incomes. Some discounts are only nominal, others are quite helpful. 

How to save money on food and prevent waste:

1. Make soup. (This deserves its very own post.)
2. When you purchase fresh produce, shop at more expensive grocery stores. You'll get fresher produce that lasts much longer. (I was stunned to discover that produce does not have to go bad within twenty-four of arriving in my refrigerator. Bye-bye Walmart. Hello weird-organic-place. Just don't expect me to buy your nine dollar, save-the-planet, chocolate bar.)
3. Walk to the grocery store. If it takes two hours to get to the store and back, think of it as great exercise. Do you have something better to do with that time?
4. Go to your local food bank. (Food banks are the best advertisement for private charity over public charity: no fingerprinting, no requests for documents you've already submitted, and no public servant whining, "It's just not clear what you mean when your write that you've been living on your savings.")
5. If you're really struggling, most Salvation Army posts serve one meal a day. 

If you live in a region where you can garden, why not get outside and play in the dirt? If you live in an area with a very short growing season, then definitely enjoy the brief good weather by going outside to garden. Obviously, avoid investing in expensive equipment.

1. Old flower pots may be small, but if you have them, use them. 
2. Raised beds will require a few pieces of wood (or cinder blocks). In some areas you will need  old carpeting (placed face down) to protect the bed from burrowing rodents and either chicken wire (as protection from birds and other animals) or plastic covers (as protection from the cold). If you live somewhere very hot, research what plants thrive in heat and think about cheap ways to create adequate shade for them. 
3. Make a cheap compost bin. If you already have an electric drill, all you need to purchase is a dark garbage bin with a locking lid.

Cell phones and internet may be necessary expenses today; you decide. I relied on the public library for internet access for a year, but then purchased an internet service for my home. Thankfully, the $32 a month service I chose is far more reliable than the $99 service offered by the area's more popular provider. (It was originally a $37 per month "special offer." After six months, the provider notified me that the rate was going up and I called to cancel. The representative offered me a "bundled plan" that included a cell phone. I insisted she just cancel my current internet service. She renewed my plan-- at five dollars less than I had been paying.)

I've never researched the cost of land lines! If they are cheaper, I'll have to consider how important it is for people to reach me any time of the day.

Since I don't purchase a newspaper, the only coupons I see are the ones that arrive in my mailbox; they are for things I didn't know I needed. So I throw them out without looking at them-- I might be missing out on savings, but I'm probably just missing out on temptation.

I do compare store prices. When I told my pharmacist that a prescription was cheaper at another store,  he called to confirm and now I pay that store's price without having to go out of my way. After another prescription increased in cost, I asked the pharmacist why; he didn't know but he very kindly tracked down a discount and now I pay less than a quarter of what I had originally been paying. (Don't get your hopes up; there are no discounts for prescriptions that cost more than twelve dollars a day.)

Do fun things that don't cost money:

• Ask yourself, "What did I do when I was a kid?" If you're old enough to remember playing outdoors with just the things you found in the woods or at a construction site, try wandering around outside to see what interests you now. If you were playing video games when you were a kid, go outside and find out what you were missing.
• Enjoy your free time. If you always have the cleanest house in the neighborhood, start being a little irresponsible. Broaden your horizons even if that only means sitting on the front porch admiring your yard or listening to kids laughing in the park across the street.
• Volunteer. You probably won't meet someone who knows about a job (most volunteers are retirees), but you will meet nice people and you will remember that you can make a  difference—that’s a double morale boost. Just google "volunteer opportunities" and the name of your town. 
• If your friends will only meet you at a bar, restaurant, or movie theater, offer to pack a picnic for a lunch in the park or suggest a long walk "because it's great exercise."
• Some towns have free concerts during the summer. I've seen several excellent cover bands. How many people have learned to line dance while listening to the Rolling Stones?
• Own a digital camera? Take lots of pictures that you never have to print.

Being frugal goes against my grain and perhaps the grain of many people who grew up in the United States after World War II. If it's feasible for you, when you begin to pare down your expenses, keep an eye out for one unnecessary item or activity that you don't want  to give up. Then really savor and enjoy it!

For me, it's carbonated water: all the bubbly goodness of beer with none of the calories!

Guns: A Brief Reflection

I'm not a fan of guns. They're loud, expensive, and, in my inexperienced hands, potentially dangerous. I have no personal need for a gun, and I hope I never will. Despite all this, I support the right of individuals to bear arms.

Why? It's partly a knee-jerk reaction, not so different from the knee-jerk reactions of gun-control advocates.

In 1799, a prosperous Irish landowner named Andrew Murphy made a bold move. Although land is a cherished possession in Ireland, and giving it up is almost unheard of, Andrew did just that.

Years earlier, Andrew's parents had sent his younger brother to Spain to become a Catholic priest, despite the British ban on foreign education and on the practice Catholicism. After completing his studies, Andrew’s brother served as a parish priest.

In 1798, the people in his parish handed over their weapons to the British, following his advice. Shortly after, he witnessed British soldiers burning down an Irish home. This event triggered a call for organized revolt, and Father Murphy became a rebel leader.

The men of Wexford, armed only with pikes, achieved several victories. However, their leader was captured two months into the rebellion.

The British subjected him to torture, hanging, decapitation, and burning his body. According to historical accounts, they even forced an Irish family to open their doors and windows so that the smoke from the priest's burning body would fill their home.

In our family's oral history, we remember only that in the spring, his brother—my four-times-great grandfather—immigrated to the United States of America. Today, his descendants, including me, a relatively liberal Jew, oppose gun control.

I acknowledge the irony of this position. In today's world, armed citizens would likely be ineffective in preserving their freedom if a government were determined to oppress its people. Nevertheless, I cannot support gun control.

A dear friend of mine, who escaped Communist Romania many years ago, once told me that she would fight to the death rather than surrender her guns. It surprised me to learn that this gentle woman even owned a gun, but her conviction was clear. She had lived through the abdication of the Romanian king in 1947 in favor of the Communist Party and the rise and transformation of of her beloved former scout leader, Nicolae Ceaușescu, into a an oppressive bloody dictator. She knows firsthand what it's like to live under a totalitarian regime and never wants to experience it again.

Would I take an armed stand for freedom? Would I at least speak out and stand up for what I believe? I hope I would find courage in the story of Rabbi— oops. I mean Father Murphy.

Here's the Irish song that commemorates the Wexford Rebellion, the brave Irishmen who fought, and Andrew's brother, their leader. (The video begins with a recitation of a Seamus Heaney poem.)

Tudor Monastery Farm

Really fabulous television and—for fan girls—a glimpse of Ronald Hutton! 

I just wonder how the Church, without schools or television, so thoroughly brainwashed (or enculturated, if you prefer) everyone to their doctrines.

Person of the Year

Mr. Snowden, you are my person of the year. Thank you for sacrificing so much for the sake of freedom. May your courage always bring you the best of everything. 

 

Yasher koach, may your strength be straightened.

nedjeljnikomentar.files.wordpress.com

Why People Have Weddings

Weddings have always puzzled me. They are grand, elaborate events that seem to stress everyone out more than they bring joy. I’ve attended fewer than a handful, but my one experience as a Maid of Honor was nothing short of a comedy of errors.

Marriage itself seems to be a bit of a mystery to many people today considering it occurs so infrequently. Despite the significance of weddings, they often seem to be more of an attempt to mirror medieval pageantry than to celebrate a relationship. Planning a big wedding is a nightmare, and let’s be honest, has anyone ever said, “I had so much fun at their wedding!”

In 1992, my college friend, Vicki Flowers, asked me to be her Maid of Honor. I was flattered, but little did I know the rollercoaster that awaited me.

During that same call, she told me “We didn’t know who to ask to be Best Man and Maid of Honor. We just realized that we don’t have any friends!” I assumed the nervous bride had misspoken; surely she meant that she didn't have close friends locally.

The Friday evening before I was supposed to drive down to Monterey to help Vicki shop for bridesmaid dresses, a “little” disaster occurred, and I sadly called to cancel my trip. Vicki shopped with just her mother. She had promised that her bridesmaids wouldn’t wear silly costumes, but without supervision, she changed her mind. (Note: If you’re ever asked to be a bridesmaid, start saving immediately. Those dresses cost a fortune!)

I was looking forward to fulfilling the Maid of Honor’s most important job: throwing the bridal shower. However, Vicki told me that her future sister-in-law had taken charge of that. I didn’t receive an invitation and although Vicki didn’t know the precise address of the restaurant where it would be held, she assured me, “You can’t miss it.”

After a very long, early morning drive to Monterey, I could not find the restaurant. It wasn’t in the phone book, so I called her father. He didn’t know any more than I did. I drove around aimlessly for hours. Eventually, I gave up, took the gift to her father, and drove back home.

The wedding day finally arrived. There were tedious hours spent posing for pictures. The other guests clustered in their old high school cliques, while I smiled a lot and tried to start conversations with reluctant strangers. Vicki looked beautiful and seemed to be having a wonderful time until she noticed the hem of her dress had turned black from swishing across the dance floor.

After all the wedding, I never received a postcard from the Hawaiian honeymoon or a picture from the wedding. I assume her parents let her know that I called several times, but I never heard from her again. I wonder... Is she still married? After all that went into the wedding, she damn well better be!

Perhaps that is the true purpose of weddings: to get everyone so invested that they make the marriage succeed, no matter what.